Core Beliefs
Examples of negative core beliefs include:
- The world is a scary, dangerous place.
- People will hurt you given the opportunity.
- I am a terrible person.
- No one loves me.
- I am worthless.
Core beliefs strike a strong resemblance to self-talk. Self-talk is the internal conversation that you have with yourself throughout the day. They both occur unconsciously for the most part. They both filter your perceptions of the world. The difference is that self-talk can change daily, whereas a core belief is more static. Waking up to sunshine or having a good hair day can sway self-talk towards being more positive while core beliefs are steadfast.
If your good days are fleeting and always seem to give way to bad days, your core beliefs are your problem.
Origins of Beliefs
As mentioned, every experience you have had contributes and adds to your core beliefs. The people you spend the most time with during your childhood are major factors in the development of your beliefs. Consider your parents. What types of messages did they send you verbally or through their actions?
If you endured abandonment from one or both of your parents during early years, you may come to have the core belief that you are worthless or unlovable. This may cause you to constantly seek out approval and affection from others or choose a life of solitude rather than risk further rejection. If you witnessed abuse or alcoholism in your childhood, you may build the belief that this behavior was expected and acceptable. This may lead you to follow in their mistakes.
Identify Your Beliefs
Your core beliefs might match those listed above or might be drastically different. In either case, taking action to create a working knowledge of your core belief or beliefs is a must. Here’s how:
- Study your experience. Looking at your life from a fresh perspective can give you clues about your core beliefs. What types of situation or experiences do you seek out? What do you avoid? Consult with friends to get their opinions and perspectives. Remember, if depressive core beliefs are active in your life, your perspective will be distorted negatively.
- Study your emotional reactions. Journaling is a great way to process and deal with the emotion of day. If you do journal, look through old pages to find trends and patterns. If a stranger on the street stared at you and your mood became more depressed or you felt more anxious, your core belief could have to do with people judging you.
- Study your thoughts. Your thoughts are always circling in your mind. Not noticing them indicates that they are being moved to the unconscious. In every experience, there is an event, your perception of the event and your reaction to the event. Try to pay more attention to your perceptions. At times, these can be instinctual and tough to notice but they exist. What is your favorite color? What is your favorite kind of music? What smells do you enjoy? These preferences may be hard to understand but they develop much in the same way as core beliefs. If oldies remind you of fun, stress-free times, they might be your favorite.
