We completely packed up and left the town we were in; we got away, and started fresh.
My mum and dad.
Breaking through self-harm addiction, and having the courage to actually ask for help.
You're not alone. You may feel alone and scared, but fear is what makes you stronger. The fear of being alone lets you speak up and say, "Hey, I need help here." People are ready to listen.
I'm proud of having the courage to actually ask for help.
Dealing with this was one of the hardest things I have done. I got on top and I'm staying here.
I wrote this to mark one year of not self-harming.
I know a lot of people will be wondering why I decided to share this, but it is a huge accomplishment for me and I feel like I need to share this.
Ever since the beginning of grade eight I have been struggling with severe anxiety, which unfortunately led me down the path of self-harming. At first I was doing it because everyone else seemed to find comfort in it, so why couldn't I? Then after a while it became an addiction. Every time something went wrong, self-harming was the thing I turned to. It was the thing that helped me sleep at night, which is actually quite sick when you think about it.
I struggled with it for all of grade nine in secret – only a select few knew about why the 'cat' had scratched me. I thought I'd beaten it at the end of grade nine, but then my mum was diagnosed with stage two breast cancer. My world crumbled and the only thing that seemed to make sense and allowed me to take control was my self-harming. A few other things happened in grade 10, and it lead to me trying to overdose and do more self-harm more often. I thought my mum was too sick to notice, but she did. As I realized how it was making mum feel I began to try to sort myself out. I went a month, then two, then three and so on, but each time I stood for longer, the harder I fell. But I kept going nonetheless.
The last time I self harmed was September 12, 2013. For me, dealing with this was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But I did it. I beat the cycle. It was hard, I had my moments of insanity because I was fighting the urge, but I did it. I beat the addiction. I got on top and I'm staying here. I share this not as an attention seeker, but as a victorious person and one who wants to share that victory with everyone.
Don't suffer in silence. If you're struggling, PLEASE talk to someone – you can beat this. Much love.